Twitter Users Share The Funniest Reasons They Think Their Pets Would Get Fired From Their Jobs

Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor

Mar 27, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

Our pets are little hooligans. We know it, they know it, everyone knows it. And we love them anyway - not in spite of that but because of us. Dogs being drama queens who can't stop chewing on random couches, cats being little rascals who purposefully destroy the things we love, birds launching themselves into every single boiling pot of soup they come across… that's all part of being pet owners. We have not only accepted this behavior. We have signed up for it.

But no employer would. You know, in your heart, that as much as you love your animals, each and every single one of them would get fired instantly if they ever got a job. And they would be able to get a job. Yes, they would. They're too cute not to. But the second the cuteness wears off… the firing notice will come.

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01

via @bunsenbernerbmd

Let's see… our cat would get fired from her job for multiple reasons. Sleeping all day, not doing anything, constantly taking both snack and catnip breaks, yelling at everyone for no reason, biting everyone's ankles for no reason, and, of course, for doing it with no shame while staring the boss right in the face.
02
"She would never show up on time…"

via @rkh_md

Honestly, if we could… we would never show up on time either. Who wants to get out of bed when it's so cold outside and our blankets are so warm and our pets are feeling so heckin' cuddly? Why would we do that to ourselves? Might be worth getting fired over.
03
"Terrible at putting laundry away."

via @rachlovesmedia
04
"Distracting coworkers"

via @lzurawelbalaura
05
"No remorse for stealing food from the breakroom."

via @TheMacLeod
06
"All play and no work!"

via @JillCrossland
07
"Being very nosy."

via @LabradorYuki
08
"Overthrowing management in a bloody coup then appointing themselves MEOW - Magnificent Empress Of The Workplace."

via @EweOughttaKnow
09
"Sucking up to the boss too much"

via @JenTyle40049172
10
"Drinking on the job"

via @VirginiaPeck19
11
"Stealing your bosses sandwich from the fridge then lying that you stole it"

via @IrishCorinne
12
"Excessive catnip breaks"

via @IrishCorinne
13
"Customer intimidation"

via @IrishCorinne
14
"Joli, house guard dog, asleep on the job."

via @LilytheSamoyed
15
"He gets in the face of authority..."

via @WinstonThatche4
16
"You’re late again!!!"

via @tangosmom14
17
"Sleeping on the job"

via @TracyLentz7
18
"Frequent naps during working hours"

via @donewithit2
19
"Gus is not taking his job seriously"

via @milissaobara
20
"Really long lunch breaks"

via @IrishCorinne
21
"Drinking on the job and committing multiple shenanigans on coworkers."

via @13ajc31cja
22
"Takes co-worker's food"

via @annielynnshea
23
"He’s always daydreaming. I should give him a raise for having his priorities in order"

via @EyelashGecko
24
"Used car salesman. Puts too much pressure on the customer. Says 'trust me, just sign here'"

via @GryffinDoxie